Snow Nightingale
by decarine
Summary: A ghost-girl is given the role of guardian angel to Haku. Can her love reach him through a different realm of reality?
1. Chapter 1: Angel

A/N: I'm using an original character for this story.

Chapter 1: Angel

Newly formed snow falls from the heavens, gliding along the winter sky with fresh grace and tranquility. Their whiteness is pure and calming. There is neither sound nor movement; there is nothing except for the pearls making their path to Earth. They fall and finally reach the ground, covering earth with a white blanket, cool to the touch. A young boy reaches out and allows some to fall into his hands. His grasp is gentle and a smile forms on his face. "The snow is beautiful", he thinks to himself.

In another place, there is a girl who watches. She watches everything, from the fall of the first snow of the winter, to the movement of rabbits in the forests. The first moment she woke up, she found herself surrounded by pillars of white and a plane of endless white nothingness. She is confused and listens for sound, but hears nothing so she waits patiently. She looks at her body and hands, she finds herself to be a vague figure without a defined form; almost translucent, however still recognizably human. Finally a figure, clad in a vague form approaches and she raises her frail pale arm to the figure to ask," What am I?"

The figure does not respond for a moment and then points down. The girl looks down and she sees the Earth. She realizes that if she looks harder, she can see closer, the details of the land, the trees, the people, and the villages. "Why am I looking from above?"

"You are an angel."

An angel. She surmises that she used to be of the human world, died and all memory of her previous life has been lost.

"What am I supposed to do?" She asks tentatively.

"You are not an ordinary angel, young girl."

The figure walks down what seem to be staircases that descend closer and closer to the Earth below their feet. She follows uncertainly and stumbles a bit.

"You are a guardian angel."

"It's really all too much to absorb right now" she thinks to herself crossly.

"As a guardian, you are to watch over a selected human being and with them, you are to guide them through their lives, doing your best to keep them from harm."

"Does everyone have a guardian angel?"

"Yes."

"Then why… why do people still get hurt?"

"Some have been abandoned probably. Guardian angels get a certain amount of freedom and may leave their human if they wish."

"I see… So who is my human?"

The figure points downwards," That boy over there."

The girl casts her eyes downwards and sees a young boy with a rabbit in his arms.

"The boy… he is already grown. Shouldn't I have been assigned to him when he was born?" She frowns and turns back, but the figure has already disappeared.

The girl is confused but descends to the Earth and walks alongside the young boy. He has large eyes that shine and a smile that was almost as cute as the rabbit. He is running along a dirt path until he stops at a large man. The girl stops for a second, terrified of what she sees but follows anyway. The man is bound in bandages; he seems to be a man of war and killing with a large weapon attached to his back. His skin is a pale sickly color and his eyes are sharp with a sense of terror.

"Haku. Put that thing back."

The boy, Haku, saddens a bit and releases the small white animal.

"This is going to be… quite the challenge", the girl murmurs to herself.


	2. Chapter 2: Longing

**Chapter 2: Longing**

* * *

Days folded into months and months folded into years until the boy finally grew older, into a talented young man. The girl found out that he actually went through a really difficult time just about after she came to take care of him. He had a special bloodline and being unable to control his powers, he ended up killing his parents and orphaning himself. Then wandering around, he came under the care of a devilish man named Zabuza. The girl really doesn't understand why she didn't come to look over him when he was born.

She may have been able to prevent the disaster. But perhaps, fate has a funny way of telling us that these things happen for a reason.

While the seasons changed, she figured out the extent of her own powers. She could stop a kunai from hitting him by mere centimeters, or she could move a small branch so that he doesn't trip over it. Her powers were small and nearly insignificant but she feels that she is helping as much as she can. Watching Haku grow, she feels attached to him, wondering if she had anything to do with how handsome he became, but stopped wondering and gave herself credit for it anyway. Sometimes she walks next to him and keeps him warm.

She has come no closer to understanding herself than she was ten years ago. Still not an inkling of her past or how she came to be what she is can be found and she finally decides that she will simply focus on Haku and forget about herself. Though at moments she feels empty like a void but there are moments where she walks beside him and he turns her direction and smiles. She feels her heart skip a beat or two (if she had one) and flushes; those moments fill up the empty ones.

It snows more often than not, and it snows more often than the sun shines when she follows Haku around but something about the snow is beautiful and suits him well. She was unable to stop him from going with Zabuza who is using him as a killing machine. She didn't want his hands to be bloodied by the sin of murder but she did not know what she could possibly do. She could only move branches and give off the slightest amount of warmth. She could hardly do anything.

"Is someone there?"

The girl swallows fast and stops moving immediately.

Haku frowns," Why does it feel like I'm being followed…? Yet I cannot sense a single strand of chakra."

She quickly moves beside a tree and kicks a branch.

"Ah. Must be a squirrel. I'm imagining things much too often." Haku whispers to himself quietly.

* * *

It is a day of rest for him and he is napping and eating in a meadow deep in the forest. He is wearing a dark blue yukata with small fish designs on it and his long dark hair is tied back in a bun.

"I really don't understand how he can know I am here… I am a guardian angel, am I not? There is no way that he could possibly know. It's just not possible…" The girl thinks to herself. She peeks out at him from behind a tree and laughs to herself," Why am I hiding? He can't see me."

Haku's head suddenly snaps around in her direction," I know someone is there. Come out!"

Her heart is suddenly beating at the speed of a terrified gazelle," H-how can this be? Can he really…?"

Haku takes out a kunai," Come out right now. I can see your hair."

"My hair…?" The girl walks out from behind the tree and suddenly she is hit with what feels like a thousand weights. She falls to the ground and feels the pain of the earth beneath her hands.

"Hands…?" She stares intently at herself and her hands, trembling, reaches back to feel that she actually has long strands of black hair. "How can this be?"

Haku puts his kunai away and smiles," Ah it's just a girl. Sorry if I scared you."

"You can see me…?"

He looks at her in surprise," Of course I can. Were you trying to hide from me?"

"N-no I wasn't."

The girl finds herself unable to stand up and the feeling of earth and air is so unfamiliar. The feeling of blood running through veins and the low tremble of vibrations in her ears; everything is so blindingly beautiful and unfamiliar.

"What's your name?" Haku pauses for a moment and smiles," I feel like I know you."

Her face flushes deep crimson," Th-that's not possible!"

He laughs," Alright, alright. Well at least tell me your name."

She looks down, embarrassed, and murmurs," I do not have a name."

"You don't have one…? Well that won't do. You look younger than me by only a year or two, you must have a name."

"I do not." She sits in front of him, unsure of how to stand properly.

"Why not?"

"I guess you could say it's like… I was born only recently."

Haku stares at her for a moment and laughs again," You sure are strange. You were born recently? Then would that make me your mother?"

"N-no!"

"Alright well, can I at least give you a name?"

"I-I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have one."

"Well, what is precious to you?"

"Precious?"

"You know, something important."

"I… I guess I wouldn't really know if I was just born today. But I do love this earth."

Haku looks around and sees a beautiful white camellia growing near him and touches it," How about Tsubaki? Do you like that name?"

"Is there a meaning behind it?"

"White Tsubaki flowers stand for longing."

"Isn't that a bit sad?"

"Is it? I think it's rather beautiful. Can I call you Tsubaki then?"

The girl blushes and nods.

"Well then it was nice to meet you, Tsubaki." Haku stands up to leave.

"Ahm, it was nice to meet you too, Haku."

He looks at her for a second and smiles," Good bye."

She watches as he walks away and his figure becomes paler and disappears completely into the distance. Tsubaki, with her new found name, and new found earthly form feels delighted to have been able to meet him in person but now what is she going to do as a guardian angel who came to life?

She manages to crawl to a nearby pond and stares at her features in the murky reflection. She touches her small face with dirty hands and stares at herself in awe. So this is what she looks like? Not bad I suppose, she thinks. Her eyes are almond shaped with brown orbs inside, swimming with bright curiosity. Her hair is long and can nearly touch the tip of the water. She examines her body parts and finds her limbs are rather short, but she accepts it.

"Should I question why all of this is happening? My life as it is now is a huge and total mystery to me, but I've been rather accepting… I guess there is no point thinking of things I can never understand…" She lies back on the wet grass and feels the coolness of it touch the back of her neck.

* * *

"I never told her my name." Haku ponders to himself.

* * *

_(The light of my spirit is dim_

_And cannot even be lit by the brightest firefly_

_I fall back and gaze longingly at the moon_

_Yearning breaks my heart.)_


	3. Chapter 3: Song Sung in the Snow

Chapter 3: Song Sung in the Snow

* * *

For several hours now, Tsubaki has wandered around the meadow, smelling flowers, staring at her reflection until she memorized every single detail on her own face. However, as the light of dawn began to approach, orange beams of light crawled over the mountain tops and she fell into a deep sleep.

"Wake up… wake up…"

A voice is echoing through the chasm of emptiness that presides within Tsubaki's heart.

Her eyelids flutter open slowly and she sees an endless white stream of mist. Everything has disappeared again.

"Have I… perhaps died again?"

It is the white figure whose ghastly appearance lingers above Tsubaki, without creating a shadow.

"You've have not died again." The ghost whispers hauntingly, its androgynous voice echoes through the clear.

"Something in your previous life holds you back the physical realm of reality. It seems there is no possible way to keep you here or keep you there. At night, you will become a normal human girl, and during the daytime, you will become a ghost again. However these strange circumstances are so, you must continue your duty as a guardian angel for the boy named Haku. Do not falter in your duties."

Confused, Tsubaki did not move from her low position and found it was all too much to grasp. She asks," Then what… what is it that's holding me back?"

"I do not know. Records of past events do not exist for me. We must focus on the present as of now."

"So I may… never know how I came to be?"

"Nothing is for certain." The white ghost flutters along as if hiding under a large white cape and disappears. The white chasms disappear and the Earth around her is visible again.

Once again she finds herself a transparent nonexistent being of this physical Earth. However instead of being transported to the beautiful forest she was used to, she blinks to find a dark room.

"You can't even avenge your men and you call yourself a devil? Don't make me laugh!" Two large muscular and armed men behind a rotund man donning a pair of dark round glasses surround Haku with their katana clicked out of the scabbard. The shorter man signals the other two to stand down and steps closer to the man lying on the bed, reaching his hand out," Hey now, there's no need to stay silent, how about—"

"Don't touch Zabuza-sama with your dirty hands," A familiar voice snaps in restrained agitation, his eyes are dangerously terrifying. In an instant, Haku grabs hold of his wrist. Tsubaki can hear the snap of his bones and she flinches.

Speeding into action, the lackeys try to pull out their swords but before their hand even touches it, Haku has pulled out both swords, holding it to their necks," You shouldn't do that," He whispers angrily," I'm pissed off right now.

A rotund man donning a pair of dark round glasses recoils with a hiss and snaps back hesitantly in return," Zabuza, one more time! If you fail one more time… you won't be welcome here anymore, remember that!" The men retreat and the tension is lifted. Haku's facial expression changes noticeably for the man named Zabuza.

An eerie blue light tumbles in through the tall window doors that make up the walls of the circular home. It is morning, but outside the trees are blocking the warmth.

Zabuza, grey-toned skin, with bandages covering the lower area of his face, and he was still, not moving a single muscle under the covers of his bed. Haku was there sitting beside him, wearing a mask and the usual uniform he wears when he goes out to fight.

"This business looks rather shady." Tsubaki thinks warily to herself," But what can I possibly do in this situation? I can't stop him…"

She moves over beside Haku and sits down and then she places her ghostly hand over his and feels him shudder before quickly retracting it. Haku has a strong sense of things that go on around him and while technically Tsubaki does not even exist in this world, he can sense something odd whenever she is near him.

Tsubaki sits and watches Haku as his silky dark hair falls gently over his face like an autumn leaf falling through a light breeze. "I want to hold his hand," She thinks to herself suddenly as she loses her train of thought. Quickly she snaps out of it and flushes," What weird things am I thinking? If I touch him, he'll be cold."

She removes herself from the seat beside him and continues to watch carefully from afar.

* * *

Tsubaki quickly figures out that she can influence Haku's decisions (not make them) by whispering ideas in his ears.

So of course her first level of business would be to make him go into town and buy more yakitori and atsuage tofu (grilled chicken and deep fried tofu) than he can eat.

* * *

Across the horizon, the sun begins to set and the sky is left in a beautiful dance of fuchsia and warm yellows. Tsubaki quickly removes her place watching Haku because if she were really to become a living human girl again, she doesn't want to be found practically stalking someone.

She runs to an obscure area in the deep forest and waits for darkness to arrive. Once again, the sensation of weights falling onto her body brings her to her knees and she can feel the earth beneath her finger tips once more.

White stars fall from the sky and world is covered in a blanket of darkness beneath pure white.

"It's snow," Tsubaki smiles to herself," Beautiful."

She quickly gets up and runs back the direction she came, but after a few minutes of running, her heart skips a beat at a terrifying realization," I'm lost."

Tsubaki leans against a tree and sighs," What a waste of a day… I was hoping to see him…" She sits down and holds her knees to her chest," I guess I will just have to wait it out," She shudders; the cold is beginning to become unbearable since she is wearing only a long white gown.

Above her, there is one bird whose voice is as sweet as sugar. It whistles a melody that seems almost sad and she begins to nod her head and sing along. Lyrics form themselves in her head but the song that she sings is actually without words.

_If our love was meant to be_

_Then it would have become_

_Don't shed so many tears, my darling_

_You know I've only loved you_

_Forgive me, everything was so difficult_

_Forgive me, because everything was so awkward_

_Sometimes I lie down and dream of embracing you_

_But I always awake before the touch_

_Surely fate would not be so cruel to us_

_Surely I was put on this world to love you_

_If not, then maybe it was not heaven's plan_

_For us to be together after all_

_Could it be that we were meant to separate?_

_Could it be that we've committed sins in our past lives?_

_I hoped it wasn't for me to love you_

_Just so you could leave me again_

_The stars burst into white lights_

_And before my eyes, your face_

_Is burning into my memory_

_The rhythm of your heart goes along_

_If our love was meant to be_

_Then it would have become_

_Don't shed so many tears, my darling_

_You know I've only loved you_

_Before she knows it, an hour has passed._

* * *

The tune of a wordless song strolls along the forest walk and dances among the branches like fireflies before reaching Haku's ears. The melody is faint, but sweet and almost haunting, tinged with a bit of loneliness. It reaches his heart and wraps him in its melancholy. Vague words swim in his head and he walks closer and closer to the source of the music.

* * *

Suddenly footsteps break her out of her trance and she whips her head around," Wh-who is there!"

"Ah sorry to interrupt… I just thought I heard the most beautiful song—" Haku looks down at the girl and analyzes her face for a moment," Tsubaki."

Tsubaki is struck with silence at the surprise of seeing his face.

Haku laughs," I thought a nightingale was singing. I was going to catch it and take it back with me."

Tsubaki blushes and averts her eyes," Ah is that so…"

"Forgive me for intruding but the only times I've seen you are here in the forest. Could it be you have no home?"

"Well not exactly…" She couldn't tell him that she didn't need a home because she was basically a ghost. Tsubaki's stomach growls loudly and Haku stops to ponder for a moment," Would you like to stay with me? I have more food than I can handle tonight."

Tsubaki laughs inwardly at her own deviousness," Well if it's not too much trouble…"

"Not at all," He smiles at it radiates brighter than the glow of the falling snow.

* * *

_You know I've only loved you._


	4. Chapter 4: Nighttime Conversations

Chapter 4: During the Night

"This is where you live then…?" Tsubaki asks innocently as she feigns ignorance. She has, of course, been to this place many times.

The home was reinforced with steel on the inside and large window doors made up most of the walls.

"Here have some yakitori and tofu." Haku walked over to a small wooden table and handed Tsubaki a plate. She smiles and thanks him. Haku looks at her for a second before asking," Are you cold wearing just that thin cloth?"

"Ah yes, I kind of am." She mutters shyly.

Haku walks over to a shelf and pulls out a coat similar to what he was wearing," I suppose this could suffice for you for now?"

"Thanks," Tsubaki quickly throws on the coat and commences chewing down on her first real bites of food," Delicious!"

Haku sits down across from her and laughs," So you really don't have anywhere to live…? Have you just been living out in the forest this whole time?"

Quickly changing the subject, Tsubaki finishes her meal and runs off into another room," Wow this is your room?"

Haku follows and says replies softly," Yes, but it's not much…"

"It's quite interesting," She peruses cabinets and tables until finally something strange catches her eye. A small pale brown bird, so light in its color it almost looks white. It lies in a small cage, unmoving and still.

"Oh no… is this… bird all right?" Tsubaki points to the bird.

"Oh, the poor thing is still barely moving." Haku walks over and pets the bird gently," I found it many nights ago in the forest. It was singing a beautiful song, but very weakly and when I came up to it, it tried to fly away, but fell over and got covered in snow. I couldn't just leave it there, so I tried to nurse it back to health. It's breathing but just barely and it doesn't seem to be conscious anymore as well."

"That's… so sad." Tsubaki looks at the bird," But I've never seen a bird so light in color before."

"Yes it's a rare one; a nightingale that can only be found singing when the moon comes out." Haku looks at Tsubaki's dress," I would say the color matches your dress really well."

Haku and Tsubaki spend the rest of the night talking to each other about random nonsensical things in the world that caught their attention before one drifted off into slumber.

Haku fell into a deep sleep and Tsubaki watches him, without the slightest hint of tiredness in her eyes. His face was gentle and kind, not the kind of face that was meant to kill and yet he could fall asleep in front of her so easily, being left so vulnerable, she could easily cut his neck with a kunai or something. But of course she wouldn't.

She watches him for hours until the morning sun begins to rise over the snowy hills and let their light seep into the dark hollow room. The warmth of the yellow sunlight trickles in and washes over Haku's face in one foul swoop. He twitches and then yawns and stretches his arms. Slowly opening his eyes, he glances around the room and sees no one is there.

* * *

It appeared to be the same routine night after night. Tsubaki disappeared in the day time but at night, she would return to where Haku lived and have long conversations with him. However, he usually could not stay awake till the morning when she sang him to sleep and then she would suddenly disappear again, just like a nightingale.

No matter what he asked of her, Tsubaki never disclosed a family, a home, or a past. She was mysterious and secretive, and never told him why she disappeared or where she ran off to in the day time. He became more and more curious of her, but still she told him nothing. Little did he know it was because she honestly knew nothing. For the girl who barely had an identity, she found a companion in him and one that she found so truly important and irreplaceable that her occupation as a guardian angel seemed more significant to the young ghost than ever.

One night, they were talking about something strangely profound. Haku stared deeply into her eyes when he spoke, passionately and raw, as if trying to find something within her that she could not find herself.

"Do you know what it's like to have something truly precious? I want to know."

Tsubaki suddenly felt shy," I don't think so."

"For me… I believe when someone has something they truly treasure, that's when they really become strong. I want to protect the person that's precious to me. But can you understand? Not having a dream… not being needed by anyone… the pain of being merely alive… I realized that the most painful thing in this world was… that my existence wasn't needed."

Tsubaki knew that pain and felt it everyday. She knew it too well. His emotions swept over her like a sudden rush of cold water and painful realization. All those things that hurt Haku were hurting her as well, but she couldn't have the satisfaction of hurting in life, but in death as well.

Hot searing tears sprang from her eyes and she looked at him earnestly," You need me." Wiping away a tear, she looked down at it," What is this? These are… tears?"

Haku quickly wiped the rest of her face and smiled apologetically," Forgive me, I did not mean to make you cry. You're right, your presence means a lot to me. For me… a monster like me to have found a gentle friend like you, I am so lucky."

"Why do I feel so sad then?"

He pulled her to his chest and she let her tears fall freely, they stung her face and clung to it like a small child clinging to its mother. She wrapped her arms around his chest and sobbed into his shirt.

"I understand if there are things you can't tell me. But if anything is troubling you, please don't keep it to yourself."

The young girl, who was alive at night and dead in the daytime, realized that she had the worst of both worlds. She had the emotions and raw human desires of a living person, but she had the capability of a dead person. Those powerful wishes and desires that she and Haku feel so deep in their hearts, she realizes that only one of them can fulfill.

* * *

"Haku."

"Yes?"

"There's something going on in the main village today. It's like a night parade of some sort with glowing things."

"Lanterns perhaps? You want to go?"

Yeah."

"Alright then, you'll need a yukata. I guess we could buy you one down there." Haku glanced at her with a faint smile," You sure are a lively one for this time of the night," he yawns shortly and rubs his eyes.

Tsubaki's small face brightened up with a flush of happiness. She felt like a child getting candy for the first time in a long time.

* * *

_The small bird cried out," Don't leave me alone! I truly hate it!" _

_And I've come to learn ever since that day_

_That happiness comes to those who seek it. _


	5. Chapter 5: Fireworks Festival

Chapter 5: Fireworks Festival

* * *

A/N: Thank you for the reviews I've gotten so far! It's not much, but it means a lot to me :) Feedback is always good.

* * *

"Wow…" Tsubaki breathed in the scent of the midnight festivities as there were small stalls with simple games and snacks. The smell of the hot food and the fire that lit up every corner of the town was a delight for her eyes.

"I've never been to this before either." Haku commented as he gazed around aimlessly.

"Either? What makes you think I have never been to something like this?"

"Just a guess." He grinned.

She smiled back," Well you're very good at guessing."

Haku laughed and stopped when he noticed a small shop with bright lights," Ah, here, let's go in here."

* * *

"What is this?"

"It's a yukata."

"Oh."

"Which color do you like?"

"Umm…" Tsubaki stared at a small rack of beautifully crafted yukata made of soft cotton and synthetic materials. Something caught her eye and her heart leaped in an instant, and she cried," This one!"

Tsubaki pulled out a beautiful white yukata decorated with large light yellow camellias (tsubaki), she swung it around happily and smiled at Haku," This is the name you gave me."

He seemed a bit stunned," It is."

Tsubaki ran off into the fitting room, put it on and ran back out eagerly," How do I look?"

"You look beautiful." He smiled and grabbed her hand," Come on, we'll be late."

* * *

"You know, normally we don't have these kinds of festivities."

"Why not?"

"Well fireworks are more of a summer type of festival. Here, it's constant winter. For example, aren't you cold? And if you look around, there aren't that many people."

"That's true, it's a bit strange but… I feel like this is special somehow."

"What do you mean?"

"Like… this is just for me!" Tsubaki laughed sheepishly and Haku laughed too," That's a bit conceited."

"I suppose so."

She felt her heart beating so fast it could explode right then and there, because Haku was still holding her hands. She never wanted to let go; he was so warm.

"I never want to take this yukata off!"

"That's dirty."

"I don't really care."

"What about you? Don't you feel extra comfortable?"

"I do."

Haku was wearing a dark green boy yukata and his hair was tied up in a bun. He didn't look as pretty as he normally did, but he came out with more of a boyish charm that was irresistibly cute.

She tightened her grip on his hand," Look, look! It's starting!"

They ran over to a spot on a bridge over looking the ocean and above, fire works were starting. There were all sorts of colors and flower shapes that shot up into the air.

"They're beautiful." Tsubaki whispered.

"Like flowers in the sky?"

"Yeah."

She dazed off for a bit and didn't realize what time it already was because a tiny hint of orange glow was rising from the horizon.

"Oh no! I have to leave before Haku sees me disappear." She thought panicked to herself.

She turned to face him and opened her mouth but no words came out. Holding her neck suddenly, she turned around and saw a dark hooded figure behind them holding a large katana. Shocked at the surprise attacker, she tried to tell Haku what was going on but still nothing came out of her lips and her hand that was still holding onto his was frozen.

"Why isn't he noticing? This man is about to kill him?"

The hooded figure realized he'd been found out and quickly went on the offensive, jumping from his hiding place, he came at the two with his sword.

Tsubaki used the last bit of her strength and pushed Haku out of the way. With lightning fast reflexes she managed to save him and save herself, escaping with only a minor cut. Haku, surprised, pulled out senbon needles and killed the man before she could even blink. He was incredibly fast.

She was bleeding, and her yukata was cut open from the right sleeve.

"Are you alright! I'm sorry I was completely absorbed in the fireworks."

Tsubaki nodded weakly, unable to speak, she needed to leave without him noticing.

There was one last firework and Tsubaki pointed to it.

"What? Oh another firework, but that's not important right no—"

Haku turned around and she was gone.

* * *

_I hoped it wasn't for me to love you_

_Just so you could leave me again._


	6. Chapter 6: A Different World

**Chapter 6: A Different World**

* * *

The snow never fails to fall upon that cold village, leaving a white veil of serenity over the deep trodden earth. It feels as though time goes by slower, and everything happens in silence. It is a cold and lonely silence. Faces painted white, voices painted gray, and souls painted black. Their section of the earth had fallen into a gray dimension.

The intensity of Haku's silhouette was cast over a field of dry grass. It was evening and the sun was still out, hidden behind the clouds, but its brilliance peers over from all sides as if curious to see what the young boy was doing. His back was black against the sunlight and his face, bright as the sun itself looked forward with melancholy. There was no sound aside from the whistle of the wind, the rustle of the meadow's grass and the occasional small animal hopping by.

It had been a week since he and Tsubaki last met at the Fireworks Festival and she never returned to visit him at his home again since that eventful day. He was beginning to wonder if she ever existed in the first place and honestly wondered if perhaps she was just a figment of his wistful heart which longed for a companion. Haku did not go out of his way to look for her either and could not bring himself to do so. It was as if doing so and not being able to find her would prove that she really, in fact, did not exist in this world at all. If he wasn't able to find that girl, did that mean she wasn't real? He let out a slow sigh and tilted his head backwards, letting the cool wind wash over his face. But moreover, why didn't Tsubaki return? That day she disappeared, Haku knew that she really did disappear out of nowhere because he would have been able to notice immediately if she ran off when he wasn't looking, which apparently was not the case.

* * *

In another part of the village, a couple of old women were chatting away feverishly.

"Did you hear it the other night?"

"Yeah that bird must have come back, I heard the song too."

"What are you guys talking about?"

"These past couple of nights, we've been hearing a nightingale or something singing a really beautiful tune. But it doesn't seem to sing when it's not snowing."

"But we don't actually know if it's a bird since we've never seen it…"

"Where did you guys hear this?"

"Whenever we pass by the entrance to the forest we can hear the song just very faintly. But I heard that if you walk in deeper, the song will get louder, but so far no one has actually seen the bird."

"My oh my, how I would love to have such a bird at home with me."

"Me too! Maybe we should go catch it!"

"That's ridiculous, how could you old hags ever catch a small nimble little bird?"

"The nerve...! Who are you calling an old hag you old hag!"

* * *

A couple seats away from the old women chatting in a small tea shop, Haku couldn't help but overhear their conversation.

A nightingale who sings at night only when it snows?

"That sounds like…" Haku mentally stopped himself and laughed," No it couldn't be. I can't… I can't look for her now."

* * *

Back at the hideout, Haku was walking around aimlessly, lost in his own thoughts and accidentally knocked over a glass bowl. It shattered into several pieces with a loud sound and then all was quiet again. He stared at the broken glass pieces, surprised at his own clumsiness.

"Haku…" A dark figure approached the boy from the shadows.

"Zabuza-san. Forgive me, I was not looking where I was going," Haku apologized, regaining his composure.

"What the hell is going on with you?" Zabuza spoke slowly and deeply," You're distracted. I don't like this. What's going through your mind?"

"Nothing Zabuza-san, I'm just feeling a bit out of sorts…"

"Don't lie to me. I know last week you'd been sneaking some child in here. I've allowed it but if it's going to distract you, kill it."

Haku looked at him, his eyes were wide and contemplative," It's not the child that's distracting me."

"You're lying." Zabuza walked back into a different hallway," If you don't get back on track," Zabuza paused and looked back at Haku with fearsome eyes and hissed," you're of no use to me."

"… Yes sir."

Haku picked up all the glass pieces and threw them away accordingly and returned to his room. A blue light was cast through all the windows and flooded the building with its melancholy.

He sat down on his bed and looked at the nightingale he was still nurturing, lying in a small basket.

He reached over and petted its head slowly, the white of its fur became blue from the light cast by the windows. He made sure it was still breathing and it was. The bird became warm at his touch and twitched a little.

"It moved!" He whispered to himself in surprise.

He left his hand on top of the small bird and kept it warm for a bit before falling asleep himself.

* * *

Morning came and the bird was still in a coma-like state. Haku sat up despondently and realized that longing for that girl to come was only wearing him out. But then he began to think even more.

What was the purpose of their relationship?

_Companionship?_

_Sure._

But could companions long for each other in such a painful way?

* * *

All the while Haku was thinking to himself, Tsubaki had returned to her post of invisible guardian angel. Ever since that night, she was unable to meet him for some reason.

In the day time, as usual, she watched over him and his well-being but at night, she fell from the heavens and lingered between life and death. This time, she was not a real girl, nor was she an angel. Sulking around the forest nearest the village, she stayed in one spot and sang her songs. She did not have access to free movement as she did when she became a normal girl and throughout the night, she could not go to him. So she sat there all night and sang of her loneliness to whatever could hear her. A faint and haunting melody, but still finely tuned to be delightful to the sound organs.

A week had passed and she spent her time wondering if he thought that she didn't want to see him anymore.

* * *

_Wearily, I always find myself_

_Searching for your face among a sea of people. _


	7. Chapter 7: Dreams

**Chapter 7: Dreams**

* * *

A/N: Thank you so much for the kind reviews that I've gotten thus far! :)

* * *

The rare cream colored nightingale that Haku had been taking care of began to release rhythmic breaths again. Its body became warmer and a brilliant life began to spring through its deathly grayish feathers.

Haku also began to have dreams in which he woke up in a feverish state and could not remember what had happened in his dream, but it made him tremble like a small animal.

He continued to work as always and finally fell into the rhythm of the normalcy of his daily routine without Tsubaki.

One morning he went out to pick herbs in the forest and happened to notice a blonde haired boy sleeping in the grass. He was dirty and wore a bright orange outfit with a ninja headband. It was the boy that he had seen earlier with the group of people who nearly defeated Zabuza.

The morning sunlight lit his face as he slept peacefully and vulnerably; the green grass beneath him shuddered in the light cool breeze of fresh morning air. Haku reached over and woke him up.

"You'll catch a cold sleeping in a place like this."

The spiky haired ninja boy drooled and sat up," Uh… who are you?"

* * *

"Is this the plant you wanted sis?" Naruto asked.

Haku thanked him for helping him pick out medicine and they talked for a couple of minutes about an "important person".

"When a person has someone to protect, that's when they become truly strong."

Before leaving, Haku mentioned that he was a boy. It seemed to be quite the realization.

XXX

That night, the dream came to Haku again but this time, he realized every single detail and remembered it perfectly.

He was sitting in an endless field of white flowers, the garden stretched on forever. His eyes were hazy, sick with the scent of hysteria when suddenly in the corner of his peripheral vision, a figure loomed silently. It was a girl with long dark ebony hair and a white dress with strange white things coming out of her back. Were they wings? Was she an angel?

"Tsubaki," his voice escaped him and he stood up.

The girl, Tsubaki did not turn around nor acknowledge that she heard him.

"Tsubaki!" This time he said louder.

She still did not turn around, so he took a few careful steps towards her but with each step he took, the world become more distorted and she fell further and further away from his grasp.

"Why are you ignoring me? Why do you hate me?" He asked, his voice was caught in his throat and his words were just barely audible. Her silky locks swept with the breeze like an ocean wave, the side of her face was visible and her porcelain skin shone in the darkness with the hauntingly luminous white blossoms. It was a somewhat terrifying sight to see, she was like a ghost, or maybe an angel?

"I'm not ignoring you." She finally said, her voice was soft, gentle but also cautious.

"Why did you disappear all of a sudden that night?" He asked, carefully. She was like a fragile creature, apt to run away at any frightening noise.

"I didn't want to." She answered enigmatically.

Tsubaki slowly turned her head around to face him, her eyes were shining with tears falling down her cheeks," I'm sorry. I don't belong in your world. My time has ended. I'm sorry I lied to you. I couldn't tell you this entire time… because I was afraid that you would be afraid of me or hate me. But now that I've kept the truth from you, it's even worse. But I'm telling you this now because… I'm not afraid anymore."

She turned away from him again and a blinding light surrounded her body in a burst of wind. When the light died away, Haku looked and saw light cream colored feathers floating down into the flower garden. He looked up and saw the cream colored nightingale flying away into the distance, singing a lonely melody.

* * *

Haku woke up again in a terrified sweat. He didn't quite understand the contents of his dream but if what he surmised was correct… Tsubaki was the nightingale that was on his desk.

"But how? This doesn't make any sense… this can't be."

He reached over to the small bird, it was still on the brink between life and death," I don't think it's going to be able to return to its previous life."

"Maybe you should just put it out of its misery." Zabuza suddenly came into the room.

Haku became stiff," You're probably right Zabuza-san."

"We don't need another useless creature in this place, get rid of it immediately." He briskly left the room.

Haku sighed and stared at the creature lovingly," I know I probably should put you out of your pain but… it's not that easy."

He looked off into the distant sky outside of that gloomy room that has kept him safe this whole time. Tsubaki is gone, he knows that, but what he doesn't know is if she is gone forever and if what she said in his dream is true.

* * *

The hands of the grandfather clock are ticking and time is running out. He feels like if he doesn't see her soon, he'll never see her again. Quickly grabbing his belongings, Haku runs out of the building and into the night, the moon shining down on the mysterious sapphire filtered forest.

He runs and runs and listens carefully for any sound. Every sound, every small animal footstep scare him and he keeps thinking that it's her, only to be promptly disappointed. The harsh cold wind of the nights in that snowy village pierce his white skin and hit him in his core, he shivers a little bit but he's used to the cold. Then without another moment to spare, white particles, reflecting the light of the moon fall to the ground and cover the earth in a blanket of snow.

Haku stops running to catch his breath and rests beneath a tall tree.

"_There are so many wounds in my heart,_

_I don't expect you to fix them all. _

_I only need you to be there for me_

_And love me for who I am." _

His heart skips a beat and he follows the sound of the sweet song until he finds a wispy apparition sitting beneath a tree.

"Tsubaki?"

She stops singing immediately, her voice cut short but the intensity of her stare.

He holds his breath, unsure of what to do next.

She seems to try to stand up, but falls back down weakly. He runs over to her side and quickly holds her in a tight embrace. She gasps a little.

She is light, almost like a feather in his arms, absolutely unreal, yet so very much there.

"I… I still don't understand what you are. I know you've kept secrets from me. But I don't care what it is that you are. It won't change the way I think about you." Haku confessed and his voice was shivering.

She doesn't utter a single word, but he feels something cold and wet on his shoulder. She is crying and lifts her hands to her mouth," Thank you."

She pulls away from him, gently and places a kiss on his forehead, her lips are cold but the gentleness of that kiss sent a quiver down his spine.

Haku closes his eyes and feels himself being abruptly pulled into another dream-like world.

"I can tell you everything now…" She whispers.

* * *

_She was beginning to fray and come apart at the seams, but still held together by something stronger than thread._


	8. Chapter 8: Truth Behind Dreams

Haku felt himself being pulled into a scene. It was dark and suddenly, light entered and illuminated every corner of his vision. He looked down at his body and found himself standing in the middle of the familiar forest where he met Tsubaki for the first time. He felt himself to be wispy and transparent, like a ghost.

Looking to the left, he saw himself, but fully formed and visible. Was this an illusion? No… this is a dream, he thought. He watched himself carefully, fully masked and ready to kill. He remembered this day, it was when he and Zabuza were separated and he was being targeted by rogue ninjas. A small chirping sound took his attention and he quickly looked over at a small bird in a nearby tree. Upon closer inspection, he was surprised to see that it was the same rare little nightingale he had been taking care of this whole time.

Suddenly he sees two figures arising from behind the sitting bird. He looks back to his past self and sees that he is unfocused and has not realized his enemies are on his back ready to kill. The bird turned around and began chirping erratically, it looked like she was trying to warn him of the danger but he had paid no mind to the noise and continued to walk distractedly. Quickly, the bird flapped her wings dangerously and flew at the two ninjas, bothering them and causing one to fall out of the tree. This was when his past self spun around and killed them within an instant. However before the man was killed, he slapped the nightingale away and she fell to the ground, unmoving.

Haku put a finger to his lips," The nightingale saved my life… all this time I never knew."

Tsubaki was standing next to him suddenly and he turned to face her," What is the meaning of this? Why are you showing me this?"

She stared at the unmoving bird and did not look at him, she was silent for a moment.

"Tsubaki? What's going on?" Haku pressed her again.

"I am a ghost, did you know?"

Haku didn't say anything and then replied softly," Of course not. But you just appeared to me out of nowhere…"

"I had no recollection of my previous life or my purpose for being what I had become. I was watching the realm of the living, invisible to the naked eye and alone in all I did. What was my reason for doing so and how did I become this way? I did not know."

She brushed stray hairs out of her face and tucked them behind her ear before slowly turning her head to him," Then I realized and I remembered everything. Suddenly, I knew everything."

Haku waited for her answer.

"I am on the borderline of life and death."

He did not say anything. It was all too much. Was he hallucinating?

"I am not alive and yet… I have not died. You see me now in this form, as a young girl, but this is not who I truly am, only what I wanted myself to be."

"I don't understand. What are you saying? So you're not… what exactly?"

Tsubaki pointed to the motionless nightingale," That was me."

"…What?"

"That was me… in my previous life. I was the nightingale who saved your life. But because I fell into something like a coma, I could not move on, and I was chained to this earth to wander as a ghost."

Haku grabbed her wrist," This… none of this makes any sense!" He looked at her angrily," I don't care what you are, to me you'll always be you. And I wouldn't say you're a ghost… to me you're an angel."

A single hot tear streamed down her face, and she choked," If I had a second chance at life, I… I would want to be with you!"

His grip tightened and the expression on his face was twisted painfully," What is going to happen to you now? The nightingale… I mean the you that I have been trying to nurture back to life, is almost healed. Does that mean, in real life, you're just… a nightingale?"

Tsubaki wiped her tears and smiled," Yes. And when I return to that life, I will not remember any of this and then I will continue to live as a bird and die as a bird. Then I will simply be… dead. I highly doubt after that, I will ever return to wandering this earth as a phantom."

"So… why are you showing me this? To say goodbye?"

Tsubaki leaned into him, smiled a sad smile, and said," I don't know. Maybe I am. I'm… sorry."

Suddenly, everything turned black.


End file.
